Top 11 Holiday Catastrophes

So the Christmas season is coming. Fast. Really fast. Usually when people think of the holidays, they think of family, laughter, amazing food, and sitting by the fire watching the cozy-cold snow. But The Holidays have a twist. A dark twist. A sometimes hilarious twist. A dark side that not many people remember when that June family reunion comes around and everyone is telling stories from the last Christmas gathering. Here are the 11 holiday catastrophes that happen to everyone.

1. Thanksgiving Turkey Catastrophe: The possibilities are endless for this one. The turkey isn't thawed by 5 pm, its burned/raw, the oven is broken, the dog licks the turkey, no one buys one in the first place, someone's idea of a Thanksgiving turkey is a turkey burger for dinner, or worst of all, someone replaces it with a hickory honey ham.

2. Fake Tree Disaster: You've never really celebrated Christmas until you've set up a fake Christmas tree... The branches are never labeled. Bigger branches on top right?

3. New Years Resolutions: 80% are dropped by February. Like, come on. Really?

4. "That" Thanksgiving Party: "Let's go around the room at this time and all share with one another what we're thankful for." Okay you have several cards to play when this happens. You can crack a joke like, "I'm thankful that Dad donated that horrific sweater to Goodwill finally." A joke works, unless you are going first or the person before you cracked a funnier joke. You could also say; "I'm thankful for friends and family." It always sounds good, but be prepared to wait awhile because I promise everyone else at the party was planning on saying that and now has to think of something else. Or you could just break the unspoken rule that you don't say one that someone else has already said.

5. "Not Planning Anything" for Christmas Day: The average American spends $700 on Christmas every year, hurries and stresses to get everything ready, and their plan for the big day is to "Just hang around?" That's the most expensive "Hanging around" I've ever heard of!

6. Debating Politics During Thanksgiving Dinner: After today you will never speak to each other again, but at least now you know whether your extended family members vote Republican or Democrat.

7. I Forgot The Gravy: It's sure to happen one year.

8. The Oven Schedule: So the berry pies bake at 375 degrees, the apple pies bake at 325 degrees, the turkey bakes at 350 degrees, and so on. Okay, so if we start in October, everything should be ready by 7:00 pm Thanksgiving day.

9. Hitting up those Black Friday sales at 2:00 pm on Thanksgiving, while all your food is burning at home.

10. "That House." By the time we take down our Christmas tree, we just have to put it back up again!

11. Black Friday Shoppers: Where are these people the rest of the year? It's amazing what people buy when they get 60% off.

If not all of these have happened to you, you've been warned... The year is coming.

Have a catastrophic Thanksgiving! -Eleana.

13 People At Every Camp Fire

Well camping season is just about over. I just love everything about camping: the smell of bug spray, soaked sleeping bags, trying to boil water in the cold rain on a tiny camp stove, everyone singing all the classics off key, and marshmallows engulfed in flames. All that's awesome, but I think my favorite part is late night campfire conversations. There are 13 people I've seen at every campfire. I promise... You're one of them:

1. The comfy one. This person never leaves the tent with less than two blankets. Like seriously, do you really need six pillows, four blankets, a winter sleeping bag, and a campfire chair with a built in pillow pet and three cup holders? (Okay, yes this is me sometimes.)

2. Charred marshmallows. They say: "If you burn all the sugar out of a marshmallow, it's healthier!" Which brings me to the next one:

3. The marshmallow champion. Seriously, someone needs to take a picture of this perfect marshmallow! Oh right... "No phones this year." Which brings me to the next one:

4. The one who is on their phone the whole time. Seriously, we're in the middle of nowhere, no wifi, reception or place to charge it. Why do you feel a need to play Toon Blast constantly and use all your data to finish your season of Stranger Things? And no, a Samsung Galaxy doesn't count as stargazing. (Not sponsored by Toon Blast)

5. The campfire singer. Guitar or a cappella, this person knows every camp song ever, has rehearsed them all, and is determined to perform all of them very loudly.

6. The punny one. The. Jokes. Never. End. Like how many puns do you have memorized? Where do people bake cakes? Japan. What do aliens eat? Mars-hmallows. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. (Wasn't that a lame joke?) Why was the boy covered in gift wrap? Because his mom told him to live in the present. What's Boaz's favorite animal? A kanga-Ruth!

7. The picky eater. "I don't like ham!" Then why didn't you say that before we packed the food?

8. The princess. Don't want to stain your clothes? Hint: Don't pack your favorite white shirt. Don't want your mascara to run? Hint: Don't wear it camping. Trust me, it will always rain, especially if the weather says 77 degrees and sunny.

9. The smoke magnet. Its nothing personal; I'm just not sitting next to you because I don't want smoke in my eyes.

10. The fire blower. This is the person who isn't trying to scare the people on the other side of the fire, they're just trying to blow out a two foot bonfire.

11. The fire poker. This is the fire champion. Building marshmallow toasting caves, perfecting the ratio of flames to coals, and making a smoke cloud the size of a semi truck.

12. The trooper. We're staying in heated cabins for two days! Why do you need a whole egg carton full of fire starters?

And finally,

13. The story teller. I can't stand another dark and stormy night!

This Isn't Ordinary!

Hi!

My Name is Eleana and I'm so exited to share this blog with you!
I guess I'm starting this like most other first blog posts; with my name, how exited I am to start this blog and how long I've wanted to start this blog (about 2 years). By now you're probably thinking; what now, is she going to start listing her hobbies? You guessed it! I love camping, (who doesn't?) snowboarding, paddleboarding, kayaking, reading, running, calligraphy, listening to podcasts/audiobooks, playing electric guitar, acoustic guitar, ukulele, piano, marimba and mandolin. (I'm not "fluent," so to speak, in each instrument, but I can play at least a few songs on each.) And of course I love pampering my pets! (My guinea pigs, Fidget and Bugsie, and my mice, Pearla and Lou-Lou.)

Okay so maybe this is a typical first blog post. Maybe this seems ordinary. But you know what's not ordinary? The fact that while I'm typing this, I'm traveling 67 thousand miles an hour through space. And so are you as you read this. It's pretty cool to think that if the distance from the earth to the sun was one sheet of paper, the distance to the next nearest star would be a stack of paper 70 feet tall! When I first heard that it just blew my mind! And of course when you're seven years old and you hear something that blows your mind, you tell it to literally everyone you see. Like someone walks up to you and asks, "How are you?" The natural response is: "If the distance from the earth to the sun is a piece of paper, the distance to the next nearest star would be a stack of paper 70 feet tall. I'm good how are you?"

Do typical first blog posts sound so ordinary now?

You're probably wondering why a 15 year old has all these random space facts memorized. I've been listening to the Passion City Church podcasts lately. (Well I've downloaded the app so I guess I can't call it a podcast anymore and I haven't adjusted to saying "video" yet... I'm working on it.) At Passion City Church, Louie Giglio recently did a series called A Trip Around The Sun. You guessed it from the title and the space facts, that he talks about astronomy a lot. I know it's out of season but his New Year's message is really interesting and I thought I would share it with you.Passion City Church, Nothing Is Ordinary by Louie Giglio

"Ordinarily" everyone asks when you start a blog, what you will be writing about? I don't really know for sure yet. It's strange but that's how I write. I get some crazy idea like "I know! I should start a blog!" and the writing just unfolds. When I first started writing this, I only had a few "ordinary" blog ideas such as cooking, life hacks and traveling. (that's why I called this blog Eleana's Journey; I love traveling!) Now as I'm writing this, I'm getting a bunch of ideas. No spoilers! I never could have guessed what I'd write until I just sat down to it.:) If you have any suggestions on what to write about, email me at eleanaemmert@gmail.com. Or leave a comment down below, and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. I'd love to hear from you!

-Eleana